STARCRAFT2 ENQUIRER

If I didn't have a full-time job already, I'd probably be editor of the Starcraft2 Enquirer:

1st Issue:
Mayan Calendar Shocker: Immortal All-in viable by 2020
The Secret Agenda Behind the New WCS Schedule
ZEST Caught in Gay Scandal

2nd Issue:
Pope Francis to Compete in CODE S
Clair Huxtable Named New Blizzard CEO
Rotterdam Caught in Gay Scandal